Shanna Geezy

Just another confused little American girl… Rambling my way through the thoughts and the days.

2011 February 28, 2011

Filed under: Friends,Health,Love,Uncategorized — shannageezyro @ 7:49 pm

I’m not sure what to think about this year so far… It started splendidly with a lovely mustache themed 29th birthday.

Then we had the pleasure of making Havana Romanbowubbleard the newest member of our family. He really is a great fit for us. He goes on adventures with Poppa in the Tahoe and loves to cuddle up and keep Momma warm at night.  Josh who admits never actually wanted a dog absolutely loves the “Havanimal”.

Somewhere in mid-January 2011 started taking a turn for the worse. I’ve been sick for allll of February. And while nothing awful has happened to me personally friends and neighbors have had awful and tragic events occur. It makes me grateful for my life and health but at the same time I keep thinking that it has to get better than this. It just can’t keep going this way.

 

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I forgive you… February 2, 2011

Filed under: Help,Love,Past...,wish — shannageezyro @ 4:45 am

Everyone has a past… I’ve done things in mine that I am so profoundly ashamed of. I wish I could travel back in time with Marty McFly and backhand myself.  But I am who I am because I have done the things I have done, seen the things I’ve seen, and learned the lessons I’ve learned. I rationally know this, but in a way I live in a purgatory of my own creation with my shame. This song is one that speaks to me and details what I am struggling with. I have to forgive myself and let go. Continue on the journey of my life…  I have to forgive myself. I have to let go of all my mistakes. I have to forgive myself……

I guess you really did it this time
Left yourself in your warpath
Lost your balance on a tightrope
Lost your mind tryin’ to get it back

Wasn’t it easier in your lunchbox days?
Always a bigger bed to crawl into
Wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything
And everybody believed in you?

It’s all right, just wait and see,
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you’ve been.
You’re still an innocent,
You’re still an innocent.

There’s some things you can’t speak of
But at night you’ll live it all again
You wouldn’t be shattered on the floor now
If only you would sing what you know now then

Wasn’t it easier in your firefly-catchin’ days?
And everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn’t it beautiful runnin’ wild ’til you fell asleep
Before the monsters caught up to you?

It’s all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you’ve been
You’re still an innocent
It’s okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin’ up now
Who you are is not what you did.
You’re still an innocent.

Time turns flames to embers
You’ll have new Septembers
Every one of us has messed up too
Lives change like the weather
I hope you remember
Today is never too late to be brand new

It’s all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights are still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you’ve been
You’re still an innocent.
It’s okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin’ up now
Who you are is not what you did
You’re still an innocent.
You’re still an innocent.

Lost your balance on a tightrope.
It’s never too late to get it back.