High School was sooooo 10 years ago… Literally. May 31, 2010

On Friday night I went to a lounge/nightclub and I had the pleasure of running into someone I went to high school with… The entire experience was a bit like returning to high school. The guest list and velvet ropes separating you from the lowly peons waiting in line… Allowing you to enter the inner sanctum of “coolness” and consume $300 bottles of Grey Goose. It reminded me of all the parties my brother & his friends used to have.

The boyf and I went for a birthday party for one of my favorite fellow girlfs. (One of Josh’s friend’s fiancée) She is the sweetest and probably one of the only people who could get me to sublimate my hatred for the superficial club scene and actually have some fun. I EVEN DANCED! Briefly and only at the table but still. That’s so rare!

Apparently my presence was uncomfortable for the person I ran into. It totally isn’t me that he should feel awkward with, I am not my brother nor do I talk to any of my X boyfs on a regular basis. I felt really bad the dude was holding onto this stuff from literally 10 years ago that didn’t even really involve me. But then I realized that I am still holding onto stuff from just as long ago….

I went through a really confusing time in my life and I have so many people I lost touch with and let slip away cause I felt awkward… I tried to tell him (the person I ran into) that high school was a decade ago and he should let go of anything that happened cause seriously WHO CARES? But I think I was attempting to give advice I can’t take. I try not to have regrets cause I am the person I am because of the things that I have experienced and I like who I am (most of the time) but I have real shame and embarrassment about losing certain friends and alienating others. Some of the choices that I made were so very impulsive and so very wrong. This is why now I am so very careful, I don’t want to lose anymore, and I truly wish I could get some back.

That being said I have no desire to go back to high school, I think my reunion is coming up this year… SCARY! But I think I understand why some people want to go back. When I was 17 and adults told me “your high school years are the best years of your life” I usually laughed at them. I thought they were crazy. I mean who would say that? But now I get it, I think. We were so lucky, all we had were trivial problems. There were no bills, no jobs, no taxes, no real pressures in life. All we had to do was study and socialize. I understand now what they meant. The problems we had in high school were created by us, by our superficiality and stupidity…. I would cry when I didn’t have the latest and greatest Abercrombie jeans. Obsessed over whether or not the dude I was crushing on looked at me when I passed him in the hall AND my parents paid for everything! I wanted to be sooo cool and exactly like everyone else when I should have just realized I was me. I don’t want to be that person again… but I would love to not have all of the responsibilities and realities of being an adult. I wish I could talk to 17 year old me and reassure myself that it really really doesn’t matter. So my glimpse into the past concludes with a fresher perspective on the future.

Timmy the Tortoise May 26, 2010

This is Timmy.

He is a Russian tortoise the boyf bought me cause we can’t have a dog and I am nowhere near ready to have kids. Every time we babysit or hang out with his niece and nephews it solidifies my conclusion that I can’t handle kids. (I do love being a quasi-Aunt though.) I am way too selfish and high maintenance to be fully responsible for a little human lifeform. Plus I don’t have anything sparkly on my finger, I promised my Grandma that I’d do things in the right order and that any child I conceive would be done so whilst married. Not that I have any problem with bucking tradition and conceiving the kid first… There’s just very little my Grandma asks for so I think I can come through on that one.

Anyways Timmy is not very evolutionary advanced.  He likes to as we call it mount his food. This is basically just him climbing into his food bowl and lowering his shell slightly several times before he begins to eat. The boyf says it’s because all he sees is a big green mound of stuff ( he eats the southern greens mix from Trader Joe’s it’s comprised of Mustard Greens, Turnip Greens, Collard Greens, Spinach, & we add Dandelion cause all the books say it’s a favorite) and he thinks it’s a female tortoise. Sooo not only do I have a stupid tortoise BUT if the boyf is correct and he’s attempting to hump his food he’s also a perv.

Whenever he does something crazy we tell each other “Look at your son!” Basically blaming each other for his shenanigans as if our behavior has any influence on his. We also call him fatty cause after he’s done trying to bone his food he eats everything in his bowl and it takes him a looong time to eat. Hours go by and I’ll tell the boyf “Fatty is still at it… He really is your son.” It’s not like Timmy shares any genetic material with the boyf (or me) so the fact that they both inhale anything resembling a food substance is not an inherited trait. When Timmy does what we call the Timmy Bump which is a variation of the food mounting, he repeatedly drops himself onto the bottom of his enclosure. The Bump is his shell hitting the bottom. The boyf tells me “Your son is annoying just like you.” I myself believe I am exponentially more annoying than Timmy, I mean come on all he can do is bump. I have million things I can do to pester the boyf!

Anyways I just though I’d introduce the littlest, scaliest member of the Ramonbowubbleard family. I’m off to annoy, vex, irk, & otherwise bother the boyf.

Why doesn’t cleaning count as cardio? May 24, 2010

I just spent almost 3 hours cleaning my house.(FYI it’s a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment.) I started with the bathroom which is my nemesis. I honestly throw up in my mouth a little every time I have to clean it I find it that disgusting. It was particularly atrocious because I had a big final project due last Wens and because I was otherwise overwhelmed my OCD allowed me to use that as an excuse not to do my weekly scrub down on el bano and the rest of the house. I just have to say as well that the boyf recently mentioned that I wasn’t pulling my weight. I’m sure he meant it as a joke but the rage in me was immense as I scrubbed that bathroom today.

There were thoughts like “Not pulling my weight… I’m on my hands and knees scrubbing jerkface!” and “I’m not the only one that uses this bathroom GROSS! Anyone can make an omelette!”

He’s so amazing and I love him so much but men really are from Mars and cleaning is not the boyf’s  forte. Since we’ve lived in this apartment, which is a little over a year, he has not cleaned the bathroom once… Even when it was just his and it’s been cleaned at minimum bi-weekly. He cooks all the time and totally humors the beast that is my OCD but even now, when my back is hurting me and I’m weak from cleaning fumes and lack of eating he is bugging me to go to the gym. Which leads me to my question… Why doesn’t cleaning count as cardio?

Did I mention I’m a little dramatic? Especially in my writing. What can I say I spent most of adolescence reading Danielle Steel novels I stole from my Mom because I could finish a Baby Sitter’s Club book in like 2 hours.

Should I start at the beginning… Or pick up from the middle?

So… I would say a lot of people I know have turned to blogging. I love reading them because it has helped me realize how similar we all are in our daily lives, be it our struggles or our accomplishments. I have to admit I’m a little nervous starting my blog because of privacy and what-not. Everyday I hear about the importance of informational security and the newest ways Facebook is out to manipulate my personal photos and information in sinister ways. Once you say something you can’t take it back but it seems like once you put it on the internet and hit publish it can come back to bite you for decades… All I can hope is that I don’t say anything that gets me in trouble. Most likely I will though, the boyf is already nervous and he only saw me trying to pick a theme.

Don’t worry I’m not going to throw anyone under the bus… I just want to feel like I do something besides sit around and watch reality TV waiting for the economy to get better so I can find a job I feel some passion about.